Marriage classes part 1

Tension, nerves, excitement and anxiety. That’s me in my first marriage class. I knew it had to happen sooner or later and now everything was beginning to feel real. I am getting married, it is happening.
Assalamualaikum (May peace be on you) everyone!
Marriage classes for those of you who are curious is to inform the husband and wife about their respective rights in the marriage. It also helps in understanding the ways in which the husband and wife should behave with one another on various occasions. Ultimately it helps to guide both husband and wife to have a happy marriage. This way the wife does not have too much pride or the husband does not think his wife is his property.
However,I hate new classes, always have.The introductions are the worst and of course this time was no different. I did my part as fast as possible and my fiancé was no different. He called it first saying, “he better not makes us introduce ourselves” and this calmed my nerves as the laughter left me. Class proceeded in no time (eternity for me) and we spoke about the importance of Nikkah (marriage). For obvious reasons, in all religions (most I know of) marriage is important for keeping your purity and prevent one from committing sin. Yes THAT SIN. Now this does not mean the sole purpose of marriage is for sexual reasons but there are other reasons as well. You marry someone to guide and protect each other in this life to succeed in the next.

So what do we need to get married? ABILITY.  That’s it. What is ability? To be able. The ability to provide for your wife. The ability to protect her and guide (and vice versa). Then It is also the ability to take care of her sexual needs. For Example, a person who is disabled may not be able to, therefore it is a contract between two people and consent is needed. If the male and female both agree based on the circumstances then it is permissible. Lastly is honesty. The husband has to be honest with regards to his financial status and anything of importance that could affect his wife so that his wife knows what she is entering into. The wife also has to be honest regarding any financial matters such as debt etc.

The class was concluded with a question which had both myself and Rameez hiding from the Sheik’s (teacher) line of view. “What is Love Rameez?” he asked. Relieved I smiled sweetly at my husband to be along with the rest of the class, waiting patiently for his answer. “Love is basically two people who get married so they do not commit sin”. The Sheik proceeded in saying he is correct because we do not know love until we are married. Only once two people are married do they share themselves completely with the next person.  Love, unfortunately is not always the resulting emotion as the opposite can occur (i hope not). After class ended Rameez annoyingly looked at me saying, “next week I’m passing the question onto you!” I couldn’t stop laughing.

I hope you guys enjoyed this short post and I look forward to writing the next one. Feel free to correct me where you see fit and bare in mind I only write down what the sheik teaches me.

 

Zareen,

 

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