Although 2019 has only just begun, a lot can happen within 3 months and 3 days. There are things i have learnt within that time that is fundamental to my life and way of living. In fact, most of these things have been mentioned many many times before by other people and like a true human i sometimes only learn from experience.
things in my life will only go right if I remember Allah. I know, I know, i have said this before. However, this time around i want to practice more than i preach. Challenges will always appear in life whether you trust in Allah or do not. The difference is how i deal with it and the result of those challenges. The challenges might even seem more bearable and to some extent welcoming. i have come to feel a sense of contentment when things do not go my way. I might get upset but somewhere inside my head i now have a voice telling me it is okay and wont be forever, this is going to pass. the way in which i deal with it then becomes better.
I am learning how to tolerate people. It is not as bad as it sounds, not really. People are all different. All completely different. Our biological make up might be the same but our ways of thinking, our manners, or characteristics and personality traits will be completely different. This is because people were raised different. Raised with different rules and responsibilities. Raised with different beliefs. Once this really settles in, we will not get as affected by the next person. Now i know, i cannot force my beliefs and ways onto the next person. the same way in which they cannot force theirs onto you. We can only say out piece as respectfully as possible with the next person in mind when we say it so that there is hope our message comes across as intended. this is not only negative. i have seen people be completely nice and giving and wonder what they want in return and forgetting that maybe that is just how they were raised. Without expectation for something good in return. Instead, they were simply raised with those good hearted traits which leads me to my next point.
i am learning not to be suspicious. The Quran warns us of suspecting people of things and tells us not to do it. At first i didnt pay mind to it but now that i understand it i see how it is of importance. the best way i can explain this is that when i do or say something with a good intention, i only want the next person to see it that way. I wouldn’t want them leaving and thinking something completely different. The same with other people, we should not suspect them of things. i do this often when i am walking alone and look at every guy like they might rob me. My first thought should not be that, it should not be that at all. We can be cautious without suspecting people. More importantly people can feel and see when they are being suspected of something. this has happened to me and i can honestly say it is a terrible feeling that can make anyone feel small and bad. If that is not enough encouragement then just think of how miserable and morbid and angry you feel being suspicious of someone.
i am a control freak. Maybe not in the total sense but a part of me likes being in control. Especially if it involves me. I sometimes do not pay mind to opinions when i already have my own formed. Since it is about me i admit i feel like no one else knows me better. However, people who observe might have something helpful to contribute and my arrogance will chase it away. So basically i am trying to listen more than i speak now. it can be difficult when people try to force there ideas on you.
I mentioned number five in a previous post and i will mention it again. I am no longer telling people my business. The prophet (PBUH) said keep your affairs private because where one has good fortune there will be another who has envy. I swear to you that this becomes so much easier with the more i learn in Islam. I do not tell people things i deem private either good or bad because it might not be their intention but they will be envious or even tell someone else about it. if you tell someone your bad news they might silently rejoice it as well. So in one way you are keeping your own affairs private and protecting yourself from envy and also protecting others from feeling envious towards you. You also protect them from rejoicing in your bad news. You also do not want to speak of your plans as it has not yet happened, wait until it happens before you speak of it.
Taking a leap. I am learning to take a leap and doing things i would like to do and say no to things i do not want to do. This is something i will have to learn to do sooner or later but saying no is something that everyone needs to learn. I often say yes because i do not want to seem disrespectful but with proper explanation and even an apology if needed will go a long way into learning how to say NO. Life is way too short to do things you dont want to and spend time with people who you dont want to! Sometimes what is “normal” is just what has always been and not a “must” so if anyone goes against that people will talk and that is okay and normal. I just have to remember that this life was given to me. No one else. So i owe it to myself to live in that way.
Family is important. Some of you may be rolling your eyes and with good reason. Islam teaches us the importance of family. Family is forever and this is something im starting to accept more and more. I have always been big on my immediate family, we are a close knit family and i would literally do anything for them. In the case of arguments and falling out with one another, as a Muslim we need to learn to apologize or just make up in the way your family is used to. This has to be done before we decide we no longer want anything to do with them. Often we resort to backbiting but never confront one another which strangely enough leads to making up. An important part of making up is also to stop bringing up the past and throwing it in the next ones face. When you forgive anyone you have to leave it in the past. One can be cautious and distance ourselves from family who we seem to be harmful to us but only after we have tried to resolve the matter. Once this has been done we can still keep a safe distance for protection without backbiting and “cutting them off”.
Be happy and enjoy all good things life has to offer. Life is short and we have a responsibility to be grateful for all the good we have at the tips of our fingers. So i am learning to enjoy what i am blessed with by stop thinking about what i do not have!
I know i often get side tracked and mad at the world like a little brat lol but i know just how silly i am being when i take a hard look at what my life could be like without the amazing people in it and it doesn’t look pretty!